Jesus is Not a Pacifist

I had another flashback last night while trying to clean the paint off my TV -- it's bad enough trying to understand the black news reader's pronunciation of the English language, but trying to see the news clips through the streaks of green paint is nauseating. I only watch the news on TV to stay on top of the government's propaganda lies and to make sure my righteous anger remains at boiling point.

So, as I was scraping away at streaks of toxic green, a sudden vivid image invaded my mind that was beginning to fill with images of half naked flesh -- those sms ads that are flighted late at night on TV have got to go. Even through all the paint I could see her wiggling her G-string ass and flashing her voluptuous breasts at me . . . I'm not sure if my anti-porno campaign can be as successful against these equally disgusting ads, but nothing ventured nothing gained, as they say.

As I was saying, the flashback I had was of the time when military service made men out of white boys. Back in the good old godly days, when our nation upheld the righteous standards the godly settlers brought from Christian Europe, military service was a Christian duty for white males like me who fought the atheist communists. But there were a few pansies who refused to serve in the military. Some of them were just white terrorists who should have been born black and deserved their six years in prison, but others were actually misguided twits who thought that Jesus was into non-violence. I've never heard such utter [word deleted], other than the more ridiculous statement that blacks should have equal opportunities to white people.

I'm going to say it again, like I did to all those pussy conscientious objectors: Jesus is not a pacifist! (He wasn't black either.)

This is my argument in a nutshell. Jesus is God's Son. He is God, in other words. The Bible says that God is unchanging. "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever," Hebrews 13:8. The Old Testament is full of bloodshed and holy war -- God commanded His people to slaughter heathen men, women and children -- even livestock. So if that God is the same God today (which He is, so argument closed), that means Jesus could never be a pacifist. I know He said stuff about being a peacemaker and loving your enemies and turning the other cheek, but that has absolutely nothing to do with non-violence. That's sissy homo talk. Jesus was no homo, before you start putting words in my mouth!

The only way we have to love our enemies is to arrange for a meeting with them and Jesus. I don't know a better way than a bullet to the head, do you?

Fight the good fight with all your might! (I've recently started writing my own imprecatory psalms.)