Why The Grave Won't Silence Pete

How do I hope to be remembered in history? Good question, thanks for asking. I have no problem sharing the hallowed halls of history with great leaders like Moses, Jesus, John Calvin and Hendrik Verwoerd. I have no doubt that I have already made my mark on history -- and I'm not talking about the paint-splattered Halloween demon worshipers who got a taste of Pete's righteous indignation.

I have made my mark on history by reforming the way Christian missionaries are perceived in the world. Now, when everyone thinks of missionaries in conflict regions of the world, they picture me -- Bible in one hand, automatic weapon in the other. The modern dragon slayer.

I wouldn't mind having the words 'He was a Great Reformer' emblazoned on my tombstone. That would be cool, as my idiotic ex-apprentice would have said. But I'd prefer 'Here lie the mortal remains of Paintball Pete, the Great Dragon Slayer -- Second only to the Primary Dragon Slayer, Jesus the Warrior King -- who has Fought the Good Fight and now claims his rightful place in God's throne room among all the other great heroes of the faith, like Moses, John Calvin and Hendrik Verwoerd'. But I'd need a fairly large tombstone to have all of that, including my favourite imprecatory psalm so that I have the final word on all my persecutors.

Actually, I think I'll call the funeral place right now and change my tombstone selection. I want the biggest, most formidable thing they have on offer. If it glows in the dark, all the better. If my persecutors imagine I've not made a significant mark on history, at least my final resting place will settle the score once and for all.

Fight the good fight. Before the grave, from the grave and beyond the grave.