New Creation

Shock and awe! There's no better way to describe the look on his face. He shouted something like omygodwhatthefuckhappened! But I was laughing so much I didn't really hear the exact words coming out of his incredulous mouth. But if he does utter such filthy words in my presence, he'll know all about it.

My apprentice had just awoken to see his new military-style shaved head with the missing homosexual piece of jewelry staring back at him. And after he'd stopped clutching his almost bald head and fingering his naked ear lobe, he tried unsuccessfully to rip off the banana leaf bandage around his forearm. I may still patent my tattoo removing remedy to fundamentalist church pastors who wish to straighten out other young punks in their congregations. It's painful, but it works -- I'm sure my skinhead friend will be whining about it for the rest of the trip, but he'll thank me when he gets to heaven and he's not the laughing stock of the entire celestial multitude because of his inked body. Sure, he'll have a nasty scar, but at least he can boast about suffering for righteousness sake instead of trying to explain why he rebelled against the Holy Bible.

We are now ready to drive to the mission station and deliver our precious cargo. No ways I was going to arrive there accompanied by a long-haired punk who would offend the locals and God in heaven. But he still has a few things to learn on the way back. I've saved the best till last, just like Jesus and the really good grapejuice at the wedding in Canna.

Fight the good fight.