Every Village Needs An Idiot

I will smack the next person who insults that good man, GW Bush. I'm tired of hearing him referred to as a village idiot, an imbecile, a moron and a stupid person. All those things mean the same thing, by the way ... I'm no village idiot.

So what if he stuffed a whole lot of food in his mouth and said shit while talking to his pal Tony Blair. I mean, so [word deleted] what! That does not change the fact that he has been called by God to be the next Winston Churchill, to rid the world of evil once and for all. So [word deleted] what if he has created more problems for the world, more terrorists for future generations to combat, more people who will associate militancy with Christianity ... what's wrong with that? Onward Christian soldiers, I say!

And if you'd like to know, I'm 100 percent behind every gigantic Israeli bomb flattening Lebanon and its civilian population. They had no right to abduct those innocent Israeli soldiers and demand that all the political prisoners Israel is holding be released. They're not political prisoners, by the way, but ungodly terrorists. And everyone knows that Israel is God's holy land. It doesn't matter what Israel does to its neighbours ... God is behind every exploding bomb they detonate on Lebanon. It's like the good old times when Joshua slaughtered masses of Canaanite pagans.

I know, I know, you're wondering how a follower of Christ can say such things. Well, read your Bible, you moronic village idiot. Holy bloodshed. It's all good. If we want peace, we need to wipe the ugly smear of terrorism and pagan combatants from the record of history. Jesus said He never came to bring peace, but division. Who are we to stand in His way by promoting peaceful resolutions in the Middle East? Drop those bombs and let's get on with it.

Fight the good fight.