Bash Their Skulls In

I have not seen daylight for several days. I come out of my secret hiding hole at night. I am a child of the light, so I'm not afraid of the darkness. I also have a neat pair of night-vision goggles, so I can see any rebel insurgent coming a mile off. And pity the fool if he thinks he can sneak up on Paintball Pete!

As I said in a recent blog, I have had lots of time to kill waiting for things to settle back home. Actually, I received an encrypted email late last night from my always submissive and very courageous warrior wife to inform me that the cops have arrested a suspect. I guess it paid to leave all the remote control equipment used to detonate the bunnies in the boot of the car I stole to make my getaway. An anonymous tip-off and some poor unsuspecting idiot is going to be doing some jail time for a crime he never committed. Better him than me, I always say.

So in a few days time I'll be making my way back home from my "mission trip to the Sudan" where I "successfully rescued hundreds of captive men, women and children in a daring raid that compares to the very best military maneuvers by the crack Recce troops of Rhodesia when whites still ruled that once civilised land".

As I was saying, I've had time to kill. So I've polished up some of my imprecatory psalms. Here's one example -- if you're unsure what these are, the simple explanation is cursing God's enemies. I have plenty of these curses seen as I have so many enemies in the form of communists, Muslim terrorists, left wing media people, secular humanist school teachers, God-hating devil worshipping Halloween New Age revellers, etc etc.

Pete's Imprecatory Psalm #234

My enemies surround me
Hurling their fiery insults
Evil lies like tiny fleas
Burrow deep into my gut

Poison arrows stab my noble back

Crush them, O Lord of War
Beat them to a pulp
Master whom I adore
Punish them till their final gulp

Plunge your divine sword . . .

That's as far as I've got. I still need to rhyme the last line. Maybe something like, "Plunge your divine sword into their nacks..." or "Begin your heavenly attack...". I need to throw a lot more godly curses at those wicked evildoers, so Psalm #234 will be much longer and more brutal when I've done with it. Any reprobate reading it literally needs to kak their pants and surrender their lives to Christ before wrath sweeps them into the Lake of Fire to be sodomised eternally by Satan's demon hordes.

Fight the good fight.