Love Notes and Hate List

Some famous people I like:

Jesus Christ because He is God and that should be enough reason to top my list. But I particularly like the bits in the Bible about Him coming back from Heaven to wipe out evildoers.

Chuck Norris because he is lethal and loves Jesus. What better combination can you wish for in a man?

Dick Cheney because he enjoys shooting and isn't afraid to take a pot-shot at a mate then cover it up as a case of mistaken identity. And he's also pro-war, which is always a good thing in my books for all the obvious reasons.

Eugene Terreblanche because he believes much the same as I do, that a white man without a gun in Africa is as good as dead. And that blacks are subservient to whites. And he loves guns and isn't afraid to use them. Also love the firebrand oratory, hatred for communism and understanding that this land belongs to Christian whites, not blacks. He should just try and stay on his black horse next time he gets out of prison and the media are around. They love to watch a good man fall!

Jacob Zuma because he can get away with murder. Well, in his case, rape and corruption, but you know what I mean. He is a complete paradox -- I like him and hate him equally. Read on to learn why.


Some famous people I hate:

Everyone who is ANC because they ruined our country. So that includes my good friend JZ.

FW de Klerk because he let Nelson Mandela out of prison and then let him ruin our country by letting him become president. Sell out.

Those Gun Free South Africa people because they have threatened my family with extinction. If they really think I'm going to willingly hand over all my guns so I can become a sitting duck for criminals and assassins, they have totally underestimated me. And my firepower. Including all my illegal weapons hidden in arms caches throughout the country and elsewhere in Africa.

Darwin because he taught that men are descendants of apes. He was right about the survival of the fittest bit, though, except the fittest are Christian fundamentalists who are destined to rule the world on behalf of Jesus.

Harry Potter because he is a wizard serving the dark lord and leading our kids astray with all his books and movies. One of the kids we paintballed last Halloween looked a bit like him. If he shows up again next Halloween, he is seriously going to get a frozen pellet lodged between his evil eyes.

Dan Brown because he wrote a heretical book about Jesus having sex and fathering a child. I mean, if that were the case I'm sure I'm directly descended from that righteous offspring, but it's all a pack of lies because there's nothing in the Bible about Jesus being a normal human. He was more like Chuck Norris. Even down to the beard.


Fight the good fight. Real or imaginary, makes no difference, oppose them with truth and righteousness.