My Glorious Gallows

I was reminded the other day of another protest I held a few years back that rivals anything I've ever done for the glory of God and the demise of evil. It was a mock execution outside parliament.

As you should know or may safely assume, I am pro-capital punishment. If we brought back the death penalty in this country, violent crime would all but disappear and we would go back to the good old days when whites ruled this wonderful land that blacks have now totally stuffed up! Bring back the death penalty, you soft-on-crime politicians!

In the Bible, prophets who put on an elaborate show to demonstrate God's word got their message across better than those who took a timid approach. So that's one reason why I go all out when I want the world to stop and listen to what I have to say.

So I dressed up in a judge's robe, built a make-shift gallows, pronounced the death sentence on the evildoer, recited one of my imprecatory psalms written especially for public executions, and hung a mannequin. First time I did it, the gallows worked so effectively that the doll's head snapped right off. Not really the visual image I wanted to convey, but the sheer brutality of it was awesome to behold and all five spectators broke into applause at the sight of decapitated evil. I went through the whole exercise again, and this time the cursed piece of plastic stayed in one piece and hung there for all the world to see what should happen to every violent criminal, homosexuals and New Agers.

I got my picture in the papers, which is always a bonus. Works like a charm when I'm mailing my donors for additional funding -- include paper clippings of all my protests and the money comes flooding in. It costs money to buy a mannequin and build a decent gallows. (I've got the replica at home to keep Liberty on his toes.)

Fight the good fight.