My 9/11 Demo

"We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity. ...We carpet-bombed German cities; we killed civilians. That's war. And this is war."

I don't have any female heroes other than my warrior wife, but the right wing Christian woman who made the above statement comes very close. It took a blonde dressed in a tight mini to say what I would have said if I were Ann Coulter on 12 September 2001. And it seems the Americans pretty much took her advice -- bombing the living [word removed] out of those countries responsible for killing innocent US civilians. Even if they weren't really responsible, they got what they deserve for following Satan and calling Christians infidels. Just a pity they still haven't caught that bearded bastard terrorist, Bin Laden. I'll keep searching for him in Sudan -- I'm sure I'll find him in a hole like they found Saddam.

I can't let this Coulter woman take all the glory, however, so I'll be taking my usual public demonstration to a local mosque later today. This is what I plan to do:

If you've read my earlier blog posts, you'll know that I like to give pornographers and other sinners a visual reminder of the doom and destruction that awaits them inside the fiery bowels of Satan. So I've planned this elaborate demo of 9/11 that will teach Muslims not to mess with Jesus or His followers. Standing at a safe distance from my twin-tower props, which I'll be erecting outside the mosque, I'll skillfully guide my two remote-controlled planes filled with plastic explosives into them.

The loud explosions will be shocking enough, but I've added a few unique touches to make the demo unforgettable. Each tower will have murals of Bin Laden and Saddam painted on the side; one plane will boldly bare the words Don't Mess With Jesus and the other, Don't Mess With Pete.

I've been practising all weekend, but without the explosives. And just to get into the feel of holy warfare, I made Liberty dress up like a Muslim this morning and run around the paintball range while I pelted him senseless with frozen paintballs. I didn't aim for his head, so he won't be having any convulsions tonight, but he probably won't be able to walk for a few days.

Fight the good fight.