Bring Back The Crusades

Many Christians don’t like the term crusade to describe their work of converting people to Christ. They think it's a negative term that associates the work of God with the slaughter of innocent, peace-loving Muslim folk a long time ago. They are concerned that the use of this word will throw additional jet fuel on the fire of Islamic fundamentalism.

I think such Christians are pussies. I think they are sell-outs. And I think they’re completely ignorant of history.

After Muhammed kicked the bucket, demon-possessed Muslims killed off about fifty percent of all Christians in the Middle East. So the Crusades were necessary. It was necessary to avenge these deaths and also to take back the real estate that Jesus paid for with his holy blood. Jerusalem does not belong to Muslims. Actually, they don’t own any land on the planet as it all belongs to the Christian God and his righteous followers.

I am determined to give the word back its rightful place in the Christian general vocabulary. I don’t care if people pussy-foot around the violent fundamentalist towelheads or pander to the satanic United Nations with their political correctness. I’ve never been politically correct ... I’m certainly not going to start now. There are a lot more Muslims today than there were when the Crusaders were hacking off towelhead heads, but if we all get behind GW Bush we could successfully wipe out at least fifty percent of Islam and use the rest as slave labourers to cart around our barrels of oil and work in our gardens.

Fight the good fight.

PS I encourage you to buy and proudly wear my new concept T-shirt: a Crusader cross on the front and the words Crusader for Christ – Towelheads Kiss My Ass on the back.