Commies Are Not Cool

Commies are definitely not cool. In fact, they are dirty, smelly, evil bastards who kill millions in their failed attempt to rule the world. That's exactly what Che Guevara, the Cuban revolutionary, was and did. But now I see that he's appearing on T-shirts and other fashion accessories like G-strings. Disgusting! I'm talking about the image of a commie bastard and those stringy undergarments. Christian women should not wear pieces of string like the heathens in the Amazon rainforest. It excites Christian men and may lead them to sin. I'm speaking from experience.

Back to the unwashed commie killer who has become a fashion icon. I am appalled at such glamourising of a wickedly evil tyrant who persecuted the church and got what he deserved when the CIA-backed Bolivian army took him out in the jungle. Dirty pig is now having his bacon fried in hell for eternity. I'm determined to launch a counter-protest -- I've already approached Fundamentalist Clothing Co to manufacture a series of alternative T-shirts for exclusive distribution through my righteous missionary organisation.

The first will have a picture of Che with the words: Fight Oppression -- murder innocent civilians.

The second is a picture of the filthy Guevara morphing into a skull to symbolise both his demise and his murderous ways.

The third has his image and the words Commies Don't Bath, Don't Believe in Jesus and Are Going to Hell superimposed in large Gothic print over his dirty mug. I recommend this one to all who oppose commie tyranny.

I've asked them to make a T-shirt especially for me to wear when I protest outside leading clothing retailers. On the back will be the image of Guevara with the words Commie Killers Are Not Cool. On the front will be an image of GW Bush and the words Convert Or Die. If we're going to kill civilians, we should be doing it for a Christian cause, not for a God-hating, commie utopia.

Fight the good fight.