Krokodil Resurrection

I spent most of yesterday in mourning after learning that the great Krokodil has croaked. PW Botha was a great man who should never have lost power to that sell-out FW de Klerk who released that commie Nelson Mandela from prison and drove our once God-fearing land into utter secular humanist darkness.

Everyone who knows anything knows that PW Botha was a great politician who stood on the broad shoulders of the Voortrekkers and Boer commandos, who showed both the native black savages and the Nancy-boy Brits that the Bible and the bullet are lethal soul mates. So he supposedly has gone to his grave with a whole lot of secrets about his apartheid reign. Liberals are all pissed off because he refused to testify before the Truth and Reconciliation commission. Good for him. That commission should have been called the Torture and Rape commission – torturing good citizens like me who fought communism by raping us with details about how we enforced apartheid. The Krokodil was too great a man to be tortured and raped by liberal commie sympathisers in his old age.

Rest in peace, PW Botha. I always understood that you had the best interests of this country at heart by insisting the black man knows his place and the rest of the world mind their own business. I'm praying that you will be raised from the grave and appear one last time in the once hallowed halls of Parliament, wearing your trademark National Party hat and wagging your finger in the face of this God-hating liberal government who have ruined your good work. I also pledge to restore your political vision to this land when I'm made President.

Fight the good fight.