Nightmare on Pete Street

Someone asked me what my worst nightmare is. Well, to tell the truth, I don't have bad dreams. Most of my dreams are about me dressed like Chuck Norris in very tight jeans, wearing a bandanna around my head and brandishing two semi-automatic weapons while the demon-possessed hordes emerge from Darkest Africa to attack my family. But just like Chuck in all his war movies, I save the day. I never run out of ammo, I never take a hit, and I always remain unflinching no matter how many dead bodies pile up on my doorstep. I actually wake up feeling quite refreshed after such a dream and give my submissive wife a good seeing to in the trusted missionary way.

But if I did have the misfortune of having a nightmare, I guess it would be a combination of things. One of my sons would tell me that he is a homosexual and that he has joined the ANC, and he would tell me this wearing a Gun Free South Africa T-shirt, sporting long hair and a pierced ear.

I break into a cold sweat just thinking about it.

Fright the good fight. I mean fight the good fright. [Word delete]! I mean fight the good fight.